Bad drawings matter too
Letting go of perfectionism
Over the past month I have filled a sketchbook of drawings done (mostly) on location. I’d say about half of those drawings are not very good. I am learning to be OK with that. Usually a perfectionist, and usually my own worst critic (and/or enemy) I’d be tempted to hide the sketchbook away and never look at it again, feeling like a terrible artist and that I should give up completely and find a new job.
But I’m not going to do that. I’m trying really hard to break old habits, so instead of feeling awful about the ‘awful’ drawings, I am making the choice to look at them differently. Now, having taken a step back, I don’t think they’re really as bad as I had first thought.
They are visual notes, and I love this way of thinking. They probably don’t make sense to anyone else to look at, but there’s value in there, for me. It’s all part of the process and that’s all that really matters. Nobody really needs to see them either, except I am sharing them here as I have promised, in the hope that it will help you to feel OK about your bad drawings too.
Last Wednesday I packed my drawing things to take on a big walk with Jeffers, back up to Cashel Forest by Loch Lomond. After climbing up the very steep track through the woodland I was quite exhausted but also determined to get some drawing in. I managed a little bit of very quick drawing as the cold wind whipped at the pages. I enjoyed making these at the time, just going with it and not really overthinking things. They are by no means by best drawings, but I know there are things I can develop from them. Shapes, colours, layers.
Yesterday, I took my sketchbook and a few pencils out with me on our evening dog walk in the forest near Loch Ard (I am so happy it’s light enough to go out after 5pm again). I managed a quick 10 minutes of very quick drawing, without putting much thought into it. Often this can be a great approach, but yesterday I felt a bit frantic and the magic just wasn’t really there. I’m not sure if that’s down to what I was drawing or maybe just a lack of energy & focus. I felt a bit deflated after looking back at these pages. But, looking again, viewing them as visual notes, they don’t seem half as bad. The way I’ve drawn some of the lines will really feed into other things.
It’s all learning. That’s the whole point of experimenting. I’m reminding myself that it’s very early days in this new project; I’ve only really just begun drawing from life again regularly and it’s hard! I’m still just figuring it all out. It doesn’t always feel comfortable or productive, and that’s OK. That’s how we make progress and learn how to do things the way we want to.
Each time you draw it has a knock-on effect; it’ll help with something else further down the line.
As I mentioned already, it’s visual note-taking. It’s part of building up the muscle memory which then helps to create more work; to really learn & understand the form of things, how to move the pencil or brush to describe things, how to capture energy and character. It’s all about crafting a visual language and breathing life into your work as a whole. Each time you draw it has a knock-on effect; it’ll help with something else further down the line.
More importantly, I’ve actually finished a sketchbook in a month. I’ve taken it out drawing four times, which is more than I have done in years. That’s a big achievement in itself. I am also finding that I’m no longer tempted to draw from photos - I feel more pulled towards drawing from life or from my sketchbooks and memory (using my visual notes… yes I am obsessed with this idea).
I did put this into practice this week, playing with paint in my bigger sketchbook, the one I’m dedicating to experiments. I started off with having my smaller sketchbook plus photos to look at for reference on my computer, but ended up making a right mess and felt myself trying too hard and looking at the photo too much. I closed the photo on my computer screen and just used my sketchbook and my memory for reference. It went much better.
I experimented with layering up paint and playing with colour quite freely in these studies. I love the textures and mark-making, and I can really see how the drawing I’m doing in my sketchbooks is starting to having an impact. Each bit of drawing or painting is leading me somewhere… I’m not quite sure where yet but I’m sticking with it.
Next, I want to explore colour and texture even more, especially light & dark tones. I also need to work on making my composition more considered.
It often feels like there’s pressure to be doing your ‘best work’, all the time. It’s OK to just let this go and draw without worrying about it. Usually, it’s just ourselves that thinks a drawing is bad… If I really don’t like something, then I often pretend someone else has done it, and as if by magic I end up thinking it’s not that bad at all.
One last thought for this week… Maybe it’s better not to even think of a drawing as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. After writing all of this it feels a bit counter-productive to label them as such. Of course some drawings are better than others, but it’s important to remember the ones that we don’t like will lead us to the ones that we do like.
That’s all my wisdom used up for this week! Please do leave a comment if you have any thoughts or words of advice.
See you next time!